I know I am crazy. Even before Mom's death, I knew something wasn't right. I worried about things that normal people don't worry about, especially as a child. I always was afraid of leaving water running. What if we all drowned? I was worried about candles, rightly so. Then as a teenager, I would worry all day about leaving the blow dryer plugged in or my straightener on. I guess I really realized something was off in high school. I always thought people were plotting against me, or I thought I wasn't liked. I would tell my mom and she would brush it off as if it was normal. I knew it wasn't. My friends would get mad when I accused them of talking about me behind me back. High school came and went and I graduated. I started working with an author as his editor. I even wrote a few short stories and started painting. I was good, and I knew it. Then one evening while hanging out with my boss, I got the phone call. Mom and her mobile home had burned up in a fire. She was gone and I crumbled. I was found in an alley semi comatose. I remained this way for weeks in a psychiatric ward. When they finally let me out, I was taking medications and felt in control. I started hanging out at bars and clubs and would drink endlessly not realizing the effect alcohol had on my medication. It didn't take long until I was sleeping with men and found myself pregnant with Elizabeth. During my pregnancy I had to stop taking medications and all my symptoms returned in a vengeance. I had a hard time and had no help, other than my boss. I really enjoyed his company and one thing led to another and I started having feelings for him. Problem? He was/is married. When I confessed my feelings, he fired me and weeks later I was evicted. Without money, I couldn't buy my prescription and I went into a down hill spiral of self destruction. Poor Elizabeth. No child should have a mother like me and I pray she doesn't inherit anything from me. I was lucky to run into Brandon when I did. I know it may seem stupid to let myself and my daughter stay with a man we don't know, but I had no choice. I knew I needed help and he was offering.
After that night at the festival, I started having some weird feelings for him. I was grateful for his help and after learning his story and my story were similar, I just felt connected to him in some, strange way. The way he held me as I had my attack that evening, made me realize that he cared, too. I knew he was a lot different from my boss, and I knew this could possibly be something real.
He allowed me to paint pictures for his books and after a few months we were really doing good. He helped me get good health insurance and threw a birthday party for Liz and even helped me find a nice school in town for her. I couldn't believe she was starting kindergarten. My baby was growing up and I was falling in love.
When Spooky day rolled around we took Liz to the festival and trick or treating and had a blast. We carved pumpkins. I had never done any of this as a child. I couldn't help but think about all the traditions we could start if we became a family. 
One Friday night after a hard week of working, Brandon asked me on a date. "Lu, would you want to go out tonight?" Liz was having her first sleep over with a friend.
"Um? Like a date?"
"It can be a date. It can be too adults that have spent all week working on a book and need a break."
"Oh ok." I really didn't know how to respond, but I really loved my time with him.
We walked around town, but ended up back at the fall festival. While looking at the huge pumpkins in the pumpkin patch, Brandon grabs my arm and kisses me and then goes back to acting like nothing happened. Butterflies filled my tummy. Then again when we made our way back home, he kissed me again. I was soaring as I laid in bed thinking about the time I had spent with him. ________________________________________________________________________________
I couldn't help but kiss her.... at every opportunity. She is beautiful. Nuts? Yes!! But so much more than she even realizes. Now, I have to find a way to tell her that I'm in love with her. Yes!! Me!! Poor, broken, Brandon is in love with a women he has known less than 6 months.. Actually, exactly 4 months and 10 days.
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